you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
