is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize