What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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