I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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