Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
