I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
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