I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize