He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You have to summon your inner elephant
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
