What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
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She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
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Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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