Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
honey bunches of taint.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
