first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Randomize
