Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
ttyl tear gas
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
