Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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