I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
