Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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