i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
