its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
