More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
i think my cat just said my name.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
