I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
