are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
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