Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
