one might say we're banned from that church
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize