I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
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