Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize