Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
