Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
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judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
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I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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