oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
