She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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