Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Oh god it's open bar.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
