sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize