The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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