I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
