I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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