i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
We have so much sex to catch up on
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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