Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
