I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
