I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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