White coat. Heels.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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