i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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