is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize