I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
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you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
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i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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