I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
