so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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