When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
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