I can tuck mytits in my pants
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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