I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
