problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
