I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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