Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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