i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
