Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
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