Got a toothbrush?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
