We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Randomize
