He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
