I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Randomize
