Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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