So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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