You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Randomize
