4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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