so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
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I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
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He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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